Do Hand-Me-Down Garments Harm Children Psychologically?

After I found out a crimson get dressed with a lace collar in my garage, I used to be elated. Upon finding out I used to be having a 2d kid, a woman, I used to be excited on the alternative to look some garments my eldest daughter grew out of too briefly. One explicit piece used to be this Janie and Jack get dressed that displays off little tiny shoulders and Michelin Guy child biceps.

My mother, the hoarder or genius that she is, stored numerous my very own child garments, because of this my ladies are strolling round parks in antique OshKosh B’gosh overalls. Opening boxes of clothes I hadn’t noticed in a couple of years used to be a candy stroll down reminiscence lane. Now that my 2d daughter is right here, it’s even sweeter to look her in garments her giant sister didn’t get grimy.

However now and then, I will’t lend a hand however really feel a bit of bit in charge. Must she have her personal sartorial id out of doors of Outdated Military onesies her sister wore from 2021? Each time she’s in a memorable outfit we are saying, “We keep in mind when your giant sister wore that!” as though she has any thought what it manner. Must she have the similar remedy as my first kid, to be decorated in new garments particularly picked out for her and her handiest.

Alternatively, there’s an entire further layer of guilt related to purchasing new garments. Purchasing a completely new cloth wardrobe for a tiny one who grows each month is financially and economically irresponsible. Fast fashion is developing waste at a catastrophic velocity, “accelerating the tempo of local weather alternate” and “contributing to the fast destruction of our planet,” in line with Fast Company. So with the state of the arena crumbling on account of the accessibility to reasonable, semi-low-quality items in the stores at a second’s realize, recycling garments has its personal distinct benefit.

We reached out to adults who have been wearing hand-me-downs, be it from their older siblings or different older other folks of their lives. Moreover, we reached out to 2 authorized psychologists who paintings intently with youngsters and younger adults to discover the prospective results on hand-me-downers.

Hand-me-downs evoke numerous reminiscences for some. Lauren French, a college counselor in Southern California, stated her hand-me-downs affected her formative years and her courting together with her sister.

“My sister and I are six years aside, which is so much while you’re younger and receiving hand-me-downs. As a rule, [I felt] frustrated and annoyed about the truth that I used to be inheriting hand-me-downs as a result of 50% of my lifestyles I used to be known as Emily (my sister’s identify), 40% of my lifestyles I used to be ‘Emily’s sister,’ which handiest left with 10% of my lifestyles being referred to by means of my actual identify. So [my] emotions surrounding hand-me-downs have been much less in order that I used to be inheriting used or outdated garments, however extra that I used to be now not my very own particular person.”

As the more youthful sister, French concept perhaps inheriting her sister’s garments supposed they may proportion extra time in combination. “I assumed the hand-me-downs would make my sister need to play with me extra. As a result of we have been a ways aside in age, she would by no means play with me, so if I wore her garments I keep in mind pondering she’d like my outfit and would then play with me.”

And hand-me-downs don’t prevent at garments, French defined. “I additionally by no means were given to pick toys/devices like a motorbike or scooter as a result of I might inherit the ones from her as soon as she grew out of it.”

However now, French is making a song a special track in terms of prior to now beloved items. “Now, I really like a hand-me-down (so long as it’s in just right situation). When [my sister] does a closet blank out, I’m proper there going during the piles. My spouse’s mother and sister-in-law frequently do closet blank outs they usually know to invite me first ahead of donating anything else.”

Katie Wiggins is a recruiter in Tennessee who grew up with an older brother. “I had an older brother — however having an older sister simply appeared so cool. Plus, if I knew it got here from my formative years best possible buddy Marea’s older sister Elena, it used to be pre-vetted and used to be inherently cool. I used to be immediately, instantly cooler. Loads of occasions their oldsters purchased them new Abercrombie from the mall. And the hand-me-downs have been frequently cooler manufacturers they usually have been ‘pre-approved’ by means of cool aspirational older ladies, in order that supposed I used to be cool to put on them and I used to be cool as a result of they gave them to me.”

When it got here to inheriting from her brother, her emotions have been a bit of other. “I used to be tremendous embarrassed! Now not that I sought after crimson — however I had that feeling that ‘everybody knew’ that they have been hand-me-downs.”

However any trauma didn’t lift over into maturity. For Wiggins, she ended up embracing thrifting early in lifestyles and evolved an aversion to shopping for new garments.“Particularly now, as a society we’re extra environmentally aware and I think extra acutely aware of the volume of waste that exists in speedy style. Except for lingerie, some leggings, socks and bras — I am getting virtually each unmarried factor I personal secondhand. It actually is helping that I will do that from the relief and comfort of my telephone, however I’m no stranger to Goodwill. I’ve even satisfied my husband of the deserves and glory of secondhand buying groceries.”

Rachel McCarron is a therapist in Santa Monica, California, who makes a speciality of running with youngsters, kids and younger girls.

“I’ve indubitably had purchasers who’ve been the recipients of hand-me-downs, and in my revel in I’ve by no means heard youngsters or their oldsters establish this as being a space of outrage or a cause for nervousness or disgrace,” she shared.

McCarron means that because of the rise in reputation, hand-me-downs at the moment are applauded within the realm of thrifting.

“My sense is this, partially, for the reason that proliferation of thrifting and secondhand style during the last few years has lowered the social stigma surrounding ‘used garments’ and hand-me-downs.”

And fortunately, on account of this, McCarron has noticed much less power on youngsters to have the most recent and biggest, the glossy new toy or, on this case, garments.

Dr. Shira Schuster, an authorized psychologist of Williamsburg Therapy Group, stated siblings may also really feel nearer to each other when sharing clothes. “It could make a more youthful sibling really feel a connection to an older sibling thru dressed in one thing the older sibling as soon as did.”

And my worries about my youngest now not having her personal sense of self appears to be now not a topic.

Schuster stated, “Some adults who wore hand-me-down clothes as youngsters would possibly position extra emphasis on how they get dressed to be able to display their individuality or to be able to really feel like they ‘in any case’ get to put on what they would like; many of us who wore hand-me-down clothes rising up more than likely don’t give it a lot concept as they grow older.”

So, whilst I will’t at once ask my 14-month-old what traits she desires to put on, it kind of feels I gained’t traumatize her — for now.