How do Olympians deal with disappointment?

The Australian national football team went to Paris with high hopes of winning their first Olympic medal, but those aspirations were dashed by defeat against the United States.

Even without star striker Sam Kerr, the Matildas, who enjoyed a famous run to finish fourth at the 2023 World Cup, were seen as medal contenders but failed to progress beyond the group stage.

It was a terrible loss, but how do these athletes (and others who don’t reach their goals in Paris) get over the disappointment?

The pressure to perform

Every four years, billions of viewers around the world unite in admiration for the skills and perseverance of Olympians and Paralympians.

The athletes lucky enough to compete in Paris in 2024 have spent years working hard to prepare for their performances.

Many will have performed well and some will have achieved their goal of claiming a medal. However, others will leave the games feeling that they did not fully realise their potential when it mattered most.

As a result, many athletes end the Games with great disappointment.

Legendary swimmer (and now retired) Cate Campbell experienced this after her results at the Rio Olympics, which led to horrific abuse and intimidation by a section of the Australian public.

Research has shown that many athletes report that they feel worse after returning from the Olympics. They feel lonely, disappointed and have no direction.

One of the reasons why disappointment at the Olympics is so difficult is the way an athlete’s identity is intertwined with their performance.

That is, after years of being seen as an “athlete,” many feel that who they are as a person is dependent on their performance.

Athletes’ mental health and the role of self-criticism

Nowadays it is widely recognized that many athletes deal with mental health problems. Research here in Australia has discovered that top athletes suffer from psychological problems just as often, or even more often, than the rest of the population. Major disappointments in performance are well-known contributors to this.

Perhaps to add insult to injury, one of the ways elite athletes deal with disappointment is through self-criticism. This can be a hostile way of relating to oneself, leading to feelings of worthlessness and inferiority.

Self-criticism is often seen as the only way forward, in an attempt to overcome weaknesses and demand self-improvement.

However, research repeatedly shows that most forms of self-criticism are associated with symptoms of mental health problems. Furthermore, harsh forms of internal judgment much less effective in stimulating growth and development than we might think.

Athletes, like us, must find different ways to deal with the inevitable setbacks and disappointments.

A role for compassion

More and more research and practical examples suggest that self-compassion may be the solution.

Compassion can be defined as sensitivity to the suffering of oneself and others, with the commitment to try to reduce or prevent suffering.

It can be directed at others, received from others, or directed internally (self-compassion).

For an athlete struggling after the Olympics, showing self-compassion means focusing on those issues rather than avoiding, judging, or criticizing them. Then, determining what to do to address them.

This is harder than it looks.

One of the reasons self-compassion is so difficult is because it goes against many of the ways we’ve been taught to motivate ourselves. Indeed, many athletes will report a common concern: that self-compassion might lower their standards.

That’s just not true. Research has shown Self-compassion can motivate self-improvement and athletes with higher levels of self-compassion show positive performance outcomes in sports. This is in contrast to self-criticism.

Research has also shown Athletes who demonstrate greater self-compassion often report a number of benefits, including better mental health and more helpful responses to disappointments.

For this reason, there is a growing focus within clinical and sports psychology on helping developing self-compassion in athletes as a source of resilience.

Building self-compassion

How can athletes (and the rest of us) develop the ability to have self-compassion?

There are many ways. A good place to start is to use our inner wisdom to recognize how we would show compassion to another person we care about, and then turn that inward.

Ask yourself, “How would I respond to a good friend in this situation?”

Other strategies aim to induce a calming response in our bodies that can affect both our psychology and physiologyFor example, we can actively change the tone of our inner thoughts and outward facial expression to be friendly rather than neutral or hostile.

Additional exercises include mental imagery (or visualization) to develop our “compassionate self”“, which we can then learn to step into. These practices are some of the key ingredients for compassionate mind training and compassion-focused therapy, which shown to reduce depression and self-criticism.

In this way, athletes can give themselves the support they need to overcome the difficulties of disappointments at the Olympic and Paralympic Games.

More than self-compassion

Just as important as an athlete’s self-compassion is receiving sympathy of others.

After her disappointment in Rio, Cate Campbell said

“Australians love a winner. I felt the only way I could endear myself to the Australian public was if I came back with one of those shiny gold medals.”

So during and after the Olympic and Paralympic Games, let us come together and support our athletes, regardless of their results.

This article has been republished from The conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.