How to Stop Negative Self-Talk

Do you often think “I can’t do this” or “Nobody likes me”? These are all examples of negative self-talk that we often engage in. Whether we are critical of the actions of others or not, one person we are very critical of is ourselves. Making mistakes and getting irritated with ourselves is common, and we all do it. However, if the thoughts in your head about yourself are constantly negative, it can be a cause for panic. Even if these negative statements are limited to just your head and you don’t share them with anyone else, such thoughts can hinder your mental well-being. So if you feel like the way you talk to yourself needs to change, learning the tips and tricks to stop negative self-talk will definitely help you find a way that works.

What is negative self-talk?

Negative stories and thoughts about ourselves or the situation that replay in our minds are known as negative self-talk. “It happens when you are very critical of yourself and only see your own flaws,” explains psychologist and psychotherapist Priyanka Kapoor. We are often unaware of how much power self-talk can have on our lives. A study published in Scientific reportssuggests that self-talk can affect our cognitive performance. It adds that negative self-talk can impact emotional well-being.

Why do people constantly talk negatively about themselves?

Wondering where negative self-talk comes from? Here are some reasons why people indulge in negative self-talk:

1. Low self-esteem

People with low self-esteem and self-confidence often engage in negative self-talk in a variety of contexts, including relationships, careers, social situations, and decision-making. “This can exacerbate pre-existing emotional problems. Self-destructive habits result,” Kapoor says. A study published in Scientific reportsstates that low self-confidence often leads to self-criticism.

2. Low resilience

People who are more vulnerable and have low resilience tend to think negatively because they get overwhelmed and overthink things, which results in negative self-talk. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychologystates that resilient people have the power to bounce back from situations and adapt quickly. While people who are not resilient get stuck in a negative rut.

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3. Life events

Unfortunately, experiencing many challenging life events, such as divorce, illness, or moving, can often leave people feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed, which can result in negative self-talk. A study published in Psychology of Sport and Exerciseobserves the relationship between stress and negative self-talk in runners. It suggests that high levels of stress also lead to high levels of negative self-talk.

4. Mental health problems

Some conditions such as psychiatric disorders, anxiety or depression can cause negative self-talk. This cycle can also cause additional emotional, behavioral and relationship problems. The cycle can also work the other way around and numerous mental health conditions can also be caused by negative self-talk. A study published in Psychological Actashowed that persistent negative self-thoughts were associated with depressive symptoms.

Also read: High-Functioning Anxiety: Know the Causes, Symptoms, and How to Deal with It

5. Childhood experiences

Your childhood and early experiences can have an impact on your personality. Childhood traumas can lead to constant self-deprecation and low self-esteem. A research paper published by the National Institutes of Healthdelves deeper into self-concept, what we understand about ourselves and how this regulates our behavior. It argues that these are important during childhood.

6. Social and cultural factors

Some people are exposed to excessive social and cultural influences. “This can lead to rigid, negative ideas, which in turn can create negative thought patterns. This results in self-defeating habits and negative self-talk,” Kapoor explains.

Who is more susceptible to negative self-talk?

Negative self-talk is common in people who are experiencing anxiety, sadness, vulnerability, low self-esteem, or going through a difficult time in their lives. A study published in Boundaries in psychologystates that women report higher levels of negative thinking than men. This also explains gender differences in mental disorders such as depression.

How does negative self-talk affect you?

Self-deprecation can seriously impact your mental well-being, which in turn can have physical consequences. Negative self-talk causes self-criticism and self-sabotage, which lowers your self-esteem. “People with negative self-talk or negative beliefs about the other person or situation may find it difficult to communicate, may withdraw from expressing their emotions, and may become irritable, all of which can lead to misunderstandings and disputes,” says Kapoor.

People who constantly engage in negative self-talk may have low self-esteem, which can lead to poor decisions on everything from big decisions like choosing a career path to small decisions like what to wear to a party. Negative self-talk causes low self-confidence, which can impact both your performance and relationships at work. Negative self-talk can make you very pessimistic and rigid. “Addiction, violent behavior, procrastination, and social isolation can all be caused by negative self-talk. Emotional problems arise as a result of an excess of negative self-talk, which can cause migraines, high blood pressure, hypertension, and psychosomatic problems,” Kapoor explains.

Also read: Here’s a 3-step plan to get rid of negative self-talk once and for all

How to stop talking negatively to yourself?

Here are some ways to overcome negative self-talk

1. Mindfulness and meditation

This can help to increase focus, control over mind and body, patience and tolerance. These techniques help to recognize and reduce the effects of negative self-talk. Although meditation cannot stop negative thoughts, it does help us to better manage them.

2. Positive affirmations

You can stop sabotaging yourself and demotivating yourself by making positive, affirming statements. Affirmations like “I am powerful,” “I can do it,” and “I am enough” can help you think better about yourself.

3. Keep a diary

Putting your thoughts and emotions down on paper can help to disrupt negative thinking patterns by providing context and pointing out trends. Journaling can also help you to see a pattern in the way you think about yourself. You can understand and work on your triggers for negative self-talk.

4. Support groups

Friends, family, or support groups for help can help you overcome negative self-talk. You can get encouragement and alternative viewpoints from people around you, which can help you be less critical of your actions.

5. Recognize the underlying cause

There are many underlying issues and beliefs that lead to negative self-talk. “Understanding the underlying issue is more important than just treating the symptoms. It’s crucial to dig deeper and address the fundamental problem,” says Kapoor.

6. Seek help

Seeing a therapist and seeking specialized techniques can help you feel better. “Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help people recognize and challenge harmful thought patterns, accept themselves and their circumstances, and live a meaningful life,” says Kapoor.

Also Read: Negative Self-Talk Can Ruin Your Mental Health. Here’s How to Stop It

Resume

Negative self-talk is when one continually puts oneself down. Words of discouragement and criticism of oneself often define such talk. Excessive negative self-talk can have serious consequences for your mental well-being. This can also lead to physical consequences. It is important to create a positive mental attitude.