Signs of a Pathological Liar and How to Deal With It

Lying is common. Sometimes it is something people do for personal gain, and some people may do it to avoid punishment or ill effects from an actual event. But there are also people who cannot control lying, and end up doing it repeatedly, for no apparent reason. This behavior is called pathological lying, which can happen as a result of a personality disorder. Pathological lying is unhealthy because it can affect relationships and professional life. Let us tell you how to recognize a pathological liar and how to deal with it.

What does it mean to be a pathological liar?

In everyday life, people often use the term pathological liar to describe people who lie excessively, usually for their own benefit. But from a scientific point of view, such people will not be labeled as pathological liars. Pathological lying, also called Pseudologia Fantastica, refers to people who find it difficult to control lying, and often lie without apparent reason, purpose or gain, says psychiatrist Dr Rakesh Kumar Chaddha. This behavior can be observed in people for years and sometimes a lifetime.

As such, pathological lying is not a disease. But it can be described as abnormal behavior or trait. It can occur as a symptom in people with personality disorders (histrionic, narcissistic or borderline).

About 13 percent of participants in a 2020 survey reported that they identified themselves as pathological liars, or that others did so. The study published in the Psychiatric research and clinical practice The journal also showed that people who identified as pathological liars experienced more problems and impaired functioning than those who did not consider themselves pathological liars.

How do you recognize a pathological liar?

A pathological liar can be distinguished based on the content or process of lying.

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• He or she tells stories about extreme, abnormal, minor, or unlikely events in which he or she was involved, including elaborate, unsolicited, colorful, fantastic, dramatic stories or details.
• The person may become defensive when confronted, dodging questions or giving vague answers.
• They tend to contradict themselves.
• While lying, they may appear anxious and sad.

Why are some people pathological liars?

A pathological liar fantasizes unreal stories and always wants to convey his or her lies. It gives these people internal satisfaction, says the expert. There may be a history of childhood trauma or abuse. The person may live with the ambiguous or shameful event he or she experienced in the past through denial, and resort to building false narratives in the form of pathological lying, which provides him or her with some form of satisfaction.

Check this out: Take this QUIZ to find out if someone is a pathological liar!

How to deal with a pathological liar?

Pathological liars seem to have little to no remorse for how their lies affect others. Although pathological liars can have relationships with people, it is often difficult for them to maintain an honest and healthy relationship. This can result in toxic relationships that cause stress and pain to those around them.

Here are ways to deal with a pathological liar:

1. Limit interaction

Engaging in debates or discussions with a pathological liar can be exhausting and unproductive. Because their lies are often deep-seated, attempting to reason with them can only escalate tensions or lead to further manipulation. Limiting interaction can help maintain emotional well-being and avoid unnecessary conflict, the expert says.

2. Stay grounded

Pathological liars excel at distorting reality and blurring the lines between fact and fiction. So it is crucial to stay anchored in your own sense of truth and not allow yourself to be manipulated by their deceptive stories or narratives.

3. Set boundaries

Setting clear boundaries is essential to protect yourself from the emotional toll of interacting with a pathological liar. Communicate your boundaries strongly and assertively, but understand that they may not respect these boundaries due to their compulsive lying behavior.

4. Switch off when necessary

Pathological liars often react defensively when confronted with their lies, resorting to manipulation tactics or verbal aggression to deflect responsibility. Recognizing when conversations become unproductive or hostile and choosing to withdraw can prevent further emotional damage or conflict, says Dr. Chaddha.

5. Manage expectations

It is crucial to manage your expectations when dealing with a pathological liar. Recognize that their lying behavior may not change even through intervention or confrontation. Accepting this reality will help you interact with them more effectively and reduce feelings of frustration or disappointment.

6. Encourage professional help

Suggesting therapy or counseling for the pathological liar can be a compassionate and constructive approach. By reaching out to a professional, they can explore the underlying psychological reasons for their lying behavior and develop healthier coping mechanisms. However, it is important to approach this suggestion with sensitivity and respect, as they may be resistant to acknowledging or seeking help for their behavior.

What are the treatment options?

Early recognition is important to break the lying pattern. Although it can be valuable to perform a psychiatric diagnosis, it remains a challenge to involve these people in psychiatric care. Psychotherapy such as cognitive behavioral therapy or dialectical behavior therapy, counseling and family support can help. There are no cures for pathological lying.

Pathological lying is a behavior that can be part of a personality disorder. No formal treatments exist for it, but therapies can help pathological liars.