Stress Relief: Does Relaxation Make You Stressed?

Stressing out while trying to force yourself to relax? You’re not alone! With a million things going on in your head all the time, even when we take a few minutes to slow down, our minds are still working at top speed. Stresslaxing, or worrying about the work you still have to do, or the unfinished tasks that are waiting for you, while you’re relaxing is actually counterproductive.

Stresslaxing is when we are stressed and take time off to relax and not do the tasks we need to do. Many of us don’t see relaxation as a form of self-care. Instead, we take that time as free time and fill it with mental plans or notes about obligations we need to do. It might be time to stop this stress-induced free time and let your mind relax, right?

What is stress relief?

Stresslaxing is a feeling of stress because you are relaxing and not working or doing tasks that are causing you stress. “It’s like going to the beach to relax after a stressful week, but thinking about the office work you still have to do. These days, many of us feel this discomfort about relaxing,” explains psychologist Sheena Sood.

Stresslaxing is about the anxiety you feel when you try to relax. Activities that are supposed to relax you, like walking on the beach or closing your eyes and lying down, can leave you feeling completely overstimulated. A study conducted by Penn State researchsuggests that people with anxiety resist relaxation and continue to worry during this time. Relaxation techniques can often make them anxious and even afraid.

Why does trying to relax cause stress?

Trying to relax causes stress! Here’s why:

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1. Social demands

Relaxation is seen as a luxury and society demands that we relax only when we are done with all our obligations, says Sood. Then it becomes difficult to relax or strive to relax, because obligations never end. This culture of constant productivity can make it very difficult for our minds and bodies to relax. A study by the American Psychological Association suggests that effort is romanticized these days, regardless of the output it yields. This constant need to put forth effort can lead to an inability to relax.

2. Burn out

Many of us only relax when we’re exhausted or when work stress has taken a toll on us physically. “Now, in this state, what’s happening is not really trying to relax. Instead, we’re trying to recover and oftentimes we’re making ourselves feel guilty for not taking care of ourselves sooner. So we get stressed about relaxing because of this vicious cycle,” Sood explains. That’s why it can be a bad idea to try to relax when you’re mentally exhausted. Trying to relax during meditation can actually increase stress in these circumstances, according to this study, published in Nature Human behavior.

3. Insomnia

Often, trying to relax can cause sleepless nights as we ask ourselves: do we deserve to relax and are we lazy? This self-doubt has a major impact on our sleep and makes it difficult to give ourselves a break. A study published by Scientific reports studied brain activity of people suffering from insomnia. There was increased activity in their prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for planning. That’s why you can feel stressed when you try too hard to sleep.

Why is it difficult for some people to relax?

Relaxation is seen as a luxury and you have to earn it, that’s the mentality of today. “People have not understood that rest is productive and have only understood that toiling is a form of productivity,” says Sood. That’s why many of us can’t relax. Relaxation is not seen as self-care but as selfish. “How can a parent relax and not keep working for the sake of the child? How can you be a good employee without working endlessly? These questions create doubts in people and that’s why we find it hard to relax,” says Sood. There are many reasons why we can’t relax, including stress, depression and anxiety. Some people even have a negative connotation with relaxation. A study published in Computers in human behavior is about the fear of missing out. It states that people with FOMO resist relaxing and disconnecting from social media.

What are the long-term effects of stress relief?

The long-term effects of stress relief are as follows:

1. Physical illness

If we are always stressed about relaxing, our body will never get the rest it needs. Moreover, stress has a direct impact on our health: it can cause physical complaints or worsen an existing disease.

2. Insomnia

If you can’t relax, you can’t rest and your sleep is disturbed. This can lead to insomnia: you get too little sleep and are very productive.

3. Mental health issues

No relaxation and stress around relaxation is a recipe for mental health problems such as anxiety, depression etc.

How can you relax easily?

It is very important to be able to relax to rejuvenate yourself. Here are some tips that you can follow.

• Say goodbye to feelings of guilt around relaxation with the help of a professional and realize that relaxation is productive.
• Incorporate self-care activities that feel relaxing into your daily routine. Examples include short walks, yoga, or simply enjoying a cup of coffee.
• Try some mindfulness and grounding, embracing the present moment and taking in all the little joys in life.

Resume

While some people see relaxation as a time to de-stress, for many this period of relaxation is stressful. This is what we mean by stresslaxing. It is important to note that people with anxiety are prone to this condition. Other causes include insomnia, social pressure, and stress.